This isn't an exploration in the broader judgment that can be found in Christians judging non-believers, or the loud, opinionated judgment sometimes expressed of, for example, politics on Facebook. It's a comment on the judgment of Christian brothers and sisters that occurs internally, or communicated to a friend or two. The kind of judgment we can convince ourselves "doesn't really matter". This post does not set out to answer any questions, but rather open up a topic for discussion - merely the pouring out of a discussion, so far only taking place in my head.
I began to think about the nature of this personal judgment in a series that we were doing in Bible study on "loving our church". There was a focus one week of where we sit in church. I contributed this thought; "I'm often quick to judge others and quick to defend myself". I don't know if anyone caught what I said, but running through my mind was this kind of situation;
I arrive early to church (by sheer luck) and spot someone unfamiliar and so strike up a conversation (this person is going to feel so welcome!) and end up sitting next to them as the service starts. My eyes flick around to see where everyone else is sitting (ugh. They're sitting with their friends! Again!)
This example clearly demonstrates my disposition to "ruin" what could be deemed as good deed, with a judgement of my peers and an elevation of my ego. So it is here I pause my recount to proclaim that I am eternally grateful that my salvation is found in the grace of God - not in a balance of my good and bad deeds.
The next week I'll arrive to church and get chatting to a friend who I may not have caught up with in a while. We'll sit together, and my eyes flick around again. (Whoops! I didn't even notice there was someone new! No. Don't worry that you didn't notice a new-comer, I'm sitting next to a friend who's had a hard week. I don't want to be one of those people always neglecting their friends for the sake of people they don't even know!)
My point in telling you these two scenarios isn't to advocate sitting either next to a new-comer or sitting next to friends in church. My point isn't even about where you sit. It's about the nature of judging others. In both these situations, my focus is not on how I can encourage others to be more like Christ, whoever I'm sitting with, my focus switches to pushing others down so that I can validate my choices and be puffed up with pride (as if anything good I do comes from my natural preference to serve others- ha!)
It's tough to admit arrogance. It's the quality I find most unattractive, and in a time of captioning photos with phrases such as "I look so gross", it's easy to think that self-hate equates to humility. But humility as shown through Christ's example is found in
Philippians 2:2 Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? 2 Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.
The familiar passage then goes on to describe the humility Jesus shows through the giving-up of His divine privileges in order to serve His creation. This is the humility we seek. There is no compassion in tearing others down.
Since noticing my tendency to put others down, I have concluded a few things about the nature of judgement:
1. Judging others promotes disunity.
You may have never thought about where others sit in church. But I've begun, been apart of, and heard about conversations among Christians that single out people as a plethora of unflattering things. Whether it's pointing people out as too fashionable. Too daggy. Saying that others try too hard or don't try hard enough. They're too exclusive. Too difficult to invite. Don't serve enough. So arrogant in service. Too concerned with theological correctness. Too emotion driven. Too coupley. Too cold. The list goes on - and that's the judgment that has been verbalised.
As if we, as Christians, don't have enough to battle against! Whoever I've decided to mentally or verbally attack is already a part of a battle. This person has a spiritual battle going on inside them as they fight all that this world has to throw at them. Then, as they come to a church community full of others fighting that same battle, instead of encouraging them to fight the good fight, I, a Christian, on the same team, belonging to the same spirit, hope, Lord, faith and baptism (Ephesians 4:4-5) provides yet another blow against my team-mate. "Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? 2 Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose."
2. Judging others is illogical.
Judging others's actions is truly the most illogical move I can make in light of the unity found through Christ. Judging others does not produce of community of "one mind and purpose". Furthermore, it does not reflect someone who has been forgiven for turning their back on their creator. Judging others shows that we have not understood the grace extended to us. I have been forgiven, I am free from the curse of condemnation and yet I choose to continue condemning others who are, likewise free. Why reintroduce something we have been saved from? Jesus has covered their sins in his blood so that they may be reconciled to God and protected by Jesus in the wake of God's righteous judgement, but for some reason that's not good enough to be free of my petty judging.
2. Judging others is illogical.
Judging others's actions is truly the most illogical move I can make in light of the unity found through Christ. Judging others does not produce of community of "one mind and purpose". Furthermore, it does not reflect someone who has been forgiven for turning their back on their creator. Judging others shows that we have not understood the grace extended to us. I have been forgiven, I am free from the curse of condemnation and yet I choose to continue condemning others who are, likewise free. Why reintroduce something we have been saved from? Jesus has covered their sins in his blood so that they may be reconciled to God and protected by Jesus in the wake of God's righteous judgement, but for some reason that's not good enough to be free of my petty judging.
3. Judging others is hateful.
Casting judgment on others shows our impatience, unkindness, envy and pride. It dishonours others and is selfish and angry. Judging others means we're keeping tabs on people and are delighted when we have a one-up on them. Judging others does not protect our brothers and sisters from spiritual battle, it promotes distrust, discourages hope and refuses to persevere with others. As you may have picked up, this is a direct subversion of the 1 Corinthians 13 description of love.
4. Judging others doesn't change them
As I was thinking about this topic, I was also struck by what might be seen as the other side of the coin - rebuke. How are we supposed to carry out our obligation of rebuke if we're never concerned with what our brothers and sisters are doing? Shouldn't we be prepared to call people out on ungodly behaviour? How does the proverb "Better is open rebuke than hidden love" fit in? Now, I'm by no means, any authority on rebuke, but as I was rolling these questions around in my brain my gut told me "rebuke feels different from judgement" and I equated that feeling to an encounter I had with rebuke:
When I cast judgement on someone in my head, or through verbalising slander to a friend or in a group, it is not for the purpose of encouraging someone to be more like Christ. Furthermore, when I rebuked my friend I had no need to chat to others about it. I never considered it a point for gossip. The situation made me sad, prayerful and ultimately wanting God's glory to be shown. I asked God for guidance in changing the situation and He did. This seems to sit in stark contrast to judging others. When I'm scrolling through my Facebook feed and roll my eyes at a status, it's not because I want that person to grow more and more in the love of God, it's because I've decided that whatever they've posted isn't up-to-scratch.
If we're truly saddened by someone's ungodly actions then our natural response is to bring it before God, remove the plank in our eye and ask for guidance. Judging others does not change them (as if the real problem is with them to begin with.)
5. Judging others changes me
Judging others turns me into a hypocrite. If I can't extend grace to others - what makes me think that they'll extend the same grace towards me? If I let out a remark about my annoyance at someone missing a meeting, then when I miss a meeting, how should I expect anyone to sympathise with me? I've turned myself into a hypocrite by explaining that a certain type of behaviour isn't good enough when it's often a behaviour that I will eventually replicate. Getting annoyed at people's vanity - as if I've never been vain, hating arrogance and selfishness as if I'm not marked by a struggle with both. If I'm not quick to compassion, then I shouldn't expect others to be compassionate towards me.
Furthermore, the more you practice something the better you get at it. It's a pretty obvious statement that, in this case, provides a cruel reality.
My resolve
Upon my thinking about my tendency to judge others, I've set myself a challenge. The moment I begin to think about someone else in a negative light, I decide to pray instead. I pray that I can be concerned with what my actions and motives are and that I may have a compassionate and tender heart. I pray that in all they do, they might be seeking to respond to the love of God.
Can I tell you, it has been an incredibly freeing experience. Instead of mulling and chewing over the actions of another person, busting to tell someone my beef and adding it to the list of things that frustrate me about someone - the problem lifts and I'm no longer burdened. Furthermore, if my judgment is valid and the person is in need of rebuke, I can be sure that my actions in confronting them will be God-driven and that, if I'm the right person to intervene, God will be the one to put it on my heart again as a concern for a brother or sister.
Although I slip up, I'm trying to be someone who is quick to love and slow to judge.
4. Judging others doesn't change them
As I was thinking about this topic, I was also struck by what might be seen as the other side of the coin - rebuke. How are we supposed to carry out our obligation of rebuke if we're never concerned with what our brothers and sisters are doing? Shouldn't we be prepared to call people out on ungodly behaviour? How does the proverb "Better is open rebuke than hidden love" fit in? Now, I'm by no means, any authority on rebuke, but as I was rolling these questions around in my brain my gut told me "rebuke feels different from judgement" and I equated that feeling to an encounter I had with rebuke:
I had a group of friends when I was at uni, mixed of Christians and non-Christians. In this group I had a close Christian friend who was a guy, and a close non-Christian friend who was a girl. After a while, it became clear that the girl was developing feelings for the guy. Well, this is awkward - I thought - he wouldn't ever go out with a non-Christian. But that can be an awkward thing to explain. So I left the situation alone, thinking it would sort itself out. Soon I began to get weekly updates of small romantic gestures the boy would show the girl. A flag was raised at the back of my mind but I pushed it down - surely she had just misunderstood. Soon, she was certain that he was going to ask her out. Oh no, someone was going to have to do something. So I prayed that someone would, and, what were the chances - he and I were due to catch up for coffee. So I brought it up with him and turns out he had never thought of her in "that way" and had no idea that he was leading her on. Situation clarified, we became closer friends and so did they. Later he and I and some other Christian friends were talking about rebuke. "Like that time Polly rebuked me" he said. What? I didn't rebuke anyone! Rebuke in my mind was hard, painful and messy - necessary, but possibly at the cost of a friendship. He went on to talk about rebuke being a form of encouragement; "just encouraging someone to stop what they're doing to be more like Christ" he said.
When I cast judgement on someone in my head, or through verbalising slander to a friend or in a group, it is not for the purpose of encouraging someone to be more like Christ. Furthermore, when I rebuked my friend I had no need to chat to others about it. I never considered it a point for gossip. The situation made me sad, prayerful and ultimately wanting God's glory to be shown. I asked God for guidance in changing the situation and He did. This seems to sit in stark contrast to judging others. When I'm scrolling through my Facebook feed and roll my eyes at a status, it's not because I want that person to grow more and more in the love of God, it's because I've decided that whatever they've posted isn't up-to-scratch.
If we're truly saddened by someone's ungodly actions then our natural response is to bring it before God, remove the plank in our eye and ask for guidance. Judging others does not change them (as if the real problem is with them to begin with.)
5. Judging others changes me
Judging others turns me into a hypocrite. If I can't extend grace to others - what makes me think that they'll extend the same grace towards me? If I let out a remark about my annoyance at someone missing a meeting, then when I miss a meeting, how should I expect anyone to sympathise with me? I've turned myself into a hypocrite by explaining that a certain type of behaviour isn't good enough when it's often a behaviour that I will eventually replicate. Getting annoyed at people's vanity - as if I've never been vain, hating arrogance and selfishness as if I'm not marked by a struggle with both. If I'm not quick to compassion, then I shouldn't expect others to be compassionate towards me.
Furthermore, the more you practice something the better you get at it. It's a pretty obvious statement that, in this case, provides a cruel reality.
My resolve
Upon my thinking about my tendency to judge others, I've set myself a challenge. The moment I begin to think about someone else in a negative light, I decide to pray instead. I pray that I can be concerned with what my actions and motives are and that I may have a compassionate and tender heart. I pray that in all they do, they might be seeking to respond to the love of God.
Can I tell you, it has been an incredibly freeing experience. Instead of mulling and chewing over the actions of another person, busting to tell someone my beef and adding it to the list of things that frustrate me about someone - the problem lifts and I'm no longer burdened. Furthermore, if my judgment is valid and the person is in need of rebuke, I can be sure that my actions in confronting them will be God-driven and that, if I'm the right person to intervene, God will be the one to put it on my heart again as a concern for a brother or sister.
Although I slip up, I'm trying to be someone who is quick to love and slow to judge.
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